“The feeling”

(Tue, 25^th November, 10:06 Oslo Airport - a part of my journal)

 “The feeling” (a phrase what I've often used in my writings) means shortly that a lot of good things are happening around me or to me. It’s a reference to a happy place full of excitement and joy. I get “the feeling” once in a while. My body and brains feel like they are about to explode and I want to laugh and cry at the same time. What I’ve learned is that you can get “the feeling” almost everywhere and any time. With good friends, new places and moments, family, hobbies. I mean, everywhere. Usually “the feeling” happens to me while travelling. It should be easy to explain what really happens in my whole body and brains when they realize I’ve just experienced something so amazing, emotional and beautiful. Let me tell you one example. I escaped from Finland’s cold winter almost exactly one year ago to South-East Asia. Alone. As any other 19 year old girl would have waited from this trip (partying, beach fun, friends etc) happened to me too.. but something else as well. I went to places where imagination is only a foolish tool, did crazy stuff as drove motorbikes to sunrises at the top on the mountains. Shared a hammock and hugs at the remote waterfall in the middle of jungle. Meditated with an old monk under the full moon. I would have never, ever thought it would be my time to do something like this. Those 4,5 months changed me and “the feeling” repeated itself almost every day. When doing something like this it’s hard to come home and go back to the old cycle of work, sleep, work, sleep. But continuing life as mine was for a while could it be also harmless? Living the dream every day? Is that even possible in this world of ours? I stopped once in a while to open my eyes wide open and scan the view, yes, I’m really lying on a snow white beach and in front of me there’s clear turquoise sea and no one else around. That’s one other example of “the feeling”. Saying out loud that this is still reality and not a daydream. How many times you've woken up from your own bed and just for a moment thought that the dream still exists and you've woken up inside the dream? Weird? Well I can say I've felt like that many times on my travels. There was nothing more than a fine line between dreams and reality. If you could live that way would you choose it? Or would you feel safer doing what you do now at home, knowing that this stays and doesn't probably fade away?

When I’m not travelling I feel sometimes like we’re nothing more than strangers. Standing out is hard and you need “something special” to do so. You are hardly considered free as a flying bird but when you get that chance to be one, it’s damn hard to get back into the "normal life".

As my dad calls me "bird" or "birdy" in Finnish I consider myself at this very moment as a bird. Not sure which kind, those female birds are always gray and boringly colored. I’m not a male for sure, but I could say I would like to be those red wine colored birds with a bit of turquoise and black in their beautiful soft feathers. As I'm flying now freely to the unknown the only thing is that I need to stay truthful to myself. Do what I love. What others think, well I’m trying to put that on the side nowadays. What matters the most is your self-confidence and to keep it high is not an easy journey full of upside downs, talking about my life in sort of ways. Building the way you see yourself slaps you at your face once in a while but when you’re on the high point you can do almost anything. Literally. 

I’ve always been a little bit shy, usually when it comes to making new friends. I’ve been ok at social situations not providing any major awkward moments (well I’m not telling you about them for sure!) and growing as an only child for past 16 years I’ve managed to build a safe place to be just on my own. It has never been a problem to live alone, I enjoy it so much. While travelling long-term and solo without friends or family I don’t have to push myself to the limits of socialism and be “my talkative self” like in Finland most of the time. It comes naturally and actually being in a new environment and standing on the top of an exciting foreign soil gives boost to my persona. I can’t count with my fingers and toes those many beautiful souls I met on my last trip or at all those previous adventures. Being able to call people you have just met in a strange place your “family” makes travelling more meaningful and amazing experience. I’ve said this before, but “While travelling alone you’re never really alone” or lonely I’ve to add. I felt lonely just for those days while I was lying in a hospital bed suffering from dengue fever. At least I was in so bad shape I couldn’t even cry or worry more because that would have just made my condition worse. I survived and left stronger to continue achieving bigger mountains and smaller roads ending up touching the clouds.

I’m always craving more, it’s hard to keep my butt on the chair (at least I try my best atm) because I feel I need to take the next shot of travel elixir. Well, if you haven’t still got it, I’m just making my way through this two day journey through Oslo and Florida to my first destination of Central America.. wait for it.. Guatemala!! And I’m scared! But it’s a good fear. Because I’m thrilled and soon it’s time for “the feeling” again. Can’t wait! I will keep you hanging with me while I step to that exotic world of Mayan history, beautiful people, amazing fabrics and everything else that I still can't even imagine. And of course explain why I chose Central America and much more so keep following my adventures!

these Cambodian kids

So I stumbled across to these photos on my laptop.. and all kinds of feelings just came up. You know, these moments when the time is stopped and you're looking at some little kid's eyes trying to figure out what they really need. Is it really money that they are asking for, or shelter, food, new clothes or just love and caring ? These little kids I shortly met in Cambodia were living just outside one tourist attraction. In their shabby houses on a large field. They came behind a tall fence to beg and mumble in a choir "moooneeyyy..give mooneeyyy" from tourists while passing them. I didn't however see no one giving any money. I would have liked to play some games with them and make them laugh like we did in Vietnam which was amazing. But this time they were "on the other side".

So I'm thinking.. How can you realise and cherish all what you have right in front of you back home, if you haven't seen these little faces and much more while travelling ? I love to travel and how it opens my eyes and broadens my mind. And yes, my next adventure starts in a week.. Ay dios mío !

Cambodia

Take me back to those two amazing weeks I spent exploring parts of beautiful and mysterious Cambodia. Five countries were down and this was one of the best ones.

Morning at Angkor Wat

Take me back to a time I wandered on one of the most amazing beaches I had ever seen. Sun was shining like it was its last day, crystal clear turquoise sea calling me to take a refreshing swim and snow white sand inviting me to lie down and enjoy the heat. I was happy, wondering how it was possible to find this inhabited beach on the other side of jungle. I looked at white sand-colored crabs moving sideways to the sea from their sand holes as quickly as possible.. when one of them run over my leg, reminding me that there's a fine line between dreams and reality.

Take me back to my over night stay in a hammock between two coconut trees on the beach. To those crazy days when I met new absolutely awesome people and travel mates.. and partied with Beyonce look-alike ladyboys. To those extremely long and hot three days in a bus with local people sitting on the bus's floor with their incredibly calm babies when there was no space for anyone else to join. To little children's' gazing when I walked down those narrow alleys of Phnom Penh photographing their normal day routines. Take me back to time when I sat on little red and blue stools on the road eating noodle soup with meat and something else I didn't really ask for. To those shabby roads with blowing sand, chaotic traffic, strained electricity and no internet. Take me back to that road where we got stopped by a police who said it's time to go to the police station while driving a motorbike without helmets.. and getting rid of him by giving him 10 dollars. To those times I had great conversations with prostitutes on streets of Siem Reap. To ancient Angkor Wat, listed to Unesco's World Heritage Site, where we rent bikes and rode to the sunrise at 5am. To those beautiful women and girls with smiling and friendly faces and genuine laughter, much more actually than in any other countries I had been.

And take me back to this extremely beautiful and diverse country where I travelled totally spontaneous with one day considering time with two guys I had just met in Thailand. And it was one of the best decisions on my journey.

Lee helping out a baby monkey getting a selfie 

Some lovely kids I met in Siem Reap

Koh Rong

Life is a grand festival and I'm living it right now

"Because I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be happy."

That is one thing I have learned while travelling. I usually worry about things too much and I've been learning to let go and really concentrate on the present. I also have grown as a thinking person and understood lots of things that I didn't before.

Living and working in Pai has been both an amazing opportunity and an mind changing experience. When I bought my flight ticket from Singapore to Chiang Mai, I knew that I could have gone to some new place, but I still wanted to go back to this one precious place I felt like home. But what should people really know about Pai ? Always when travellers are asking what has been your favourite place or where should they go next, I tell them to go to Pai. It's not a huge place with loads of shops or nightclubs. But it's full of things to do, after chilling in a hammock next to musicians playing gypsy tunes. I loved every second I spend in Pai in November to December. Now I came back for another three weeks to meet old friends, work in a bar&restaurant and enjoy jamming with talented musicians. Days passed really fast even I ended up doing lots of things beside work and chilling.

 

One of the many attractions in Pai are hot springs, there are natural ones in jungle (20 bath/0,50€) and proper built ones in spas (80-200 bath). I enjoyed both but the feeling bathing in a jungle with locals and beautiful view excited me more. There's canyon, caves, view points at the top of the mountains, beautiful jewellery shops, walking street, chilling live music bars and cafes etc. There's many waterfalls I went with a motorbike to, but also this one with nice five hour hike. It was a cold sunday night when we sat on a bonfire as usually, jamming, while my friend got an idea to go camping over night at this one waterfall far away in the mountains. Me and people from our hostel were excited about the crazy idea and already started to make lists what to take with. I had no expectations, but as soon as I was hiking this jungle path with my backpack full of useful equipments I realised this night was going to be magical. After five hours wading through rivers and getting wet, letting the sun to dry us we continued that path mix of rocks, plants, river, insects and huge trees above us. Still three more hours of hiking till we would get there. 

Finally we came to this beautiful waterfall, not at the photos above, i was too amazed to even take my tablet out of my bag. We went for a swim and I got an stupid but at the time very clever idea to climb to the top. Well, I got there easily, but after looking down my friends were turned out to be little ants on the ground. It was the moment when I realised I am sometimes too crazy and forgetting to think before. So so slippery and long way down but I did it. I was happy again and had a great laugh. So the night came to our little camping area. I had a hammock like couple of others and around campfire there were 11 sleeping bags on the ground. Amazing and tripping night, I haven't had that much fun dancing in the shadows and staring at the full moon with all the colours of a rainbow. We sang together and played all night long with jungle drum and guitar. 

What I'm really going to miss is the atmosphere. In Pai it's magical. I had my little Pai family at the first time, but I got a new one this time as well. Everyone who I have met in Pai have liked it. I'm glad I get to know to so many new people among my old friends. I worked for awhile in a restaurant to save money and it was situated at a perfect place (photo above), couldn't ask for more. Someone might think I'm crazy when I say this, but I could totally live in Pai for longer time like an half year. I feel like home there and I'm going back after couple of weeks  anyway ;) It's so hard to stay away !

Take care guys, hope you are living in the present. Remember to sing, enjoy little things, laugh, try meditation, write, make art, do what you know the best, and respect nature and people around you. Stay openminded and happy. Hugs.